Dear Conner,
I can not believe I am the mother of a two year old. Where did the last year…the last two years go? I feel like you were born, I blinked, and here we are twenty-four months later. There is so much I want to say to you, because I feel like time is only going to go by faster and before I know it I will be writing a letter to you that you will be reading on your way to college. Even now I struggle to find the right words to say. My heart knows how to speak them, but all I can do is try and convey the feelings to my head which leave me in awe and slightly weepy.
The last year has been one of the best years of my life. I thought you were fun before, but watching you turn into this little person…I never knew kids could be so much fun and could make me laugh so much. Watching your personality emerge has been one of the best parts of this parenting gig. From the way you talk with your hands (like me) to the way you want to listen to the same song on Dane Zanes CD over and over (like your father), you show us snippets of who you are and who you are becoming and I am still so amazed that I get to know you. You are such a treasure. You are a constant reminder to me of how much the Lord must love me to have blessed me with such an amazing child.
I can’t wait to see you step up to your role as a big brother. You are so sensitive and a natural protector. I’ll never forget the nursery worker telling me you always pick the smallest child in the room and make sure no other child takes their sippy cup. We were at the play park last week with a friend and I jokingly told you to watch over her and for the rest of our time there you were by her side. You are not easily provoked, and you draw other’s to you. These are all amazing character traits and I know the Lord is preparing you for something big and I can’t wait to see what that is.
Even tho I’ve been a mom now for two years and feel seasoned in so many ways, each new stage produces unmarked terrain where I have to make a decision and hope it is the best one for you. One of my greatest fears is wounding you, and while I hope any wounds I do inflict are superficial, it’s still something I never want you to feel. Love drives us to do crazy things that don’t always make sense, so I hope you know I do what I do because I love you so much.
Some days I can’t wait for you to be older, since I know it’ll make both our lives easier in certain ways. But most days I want to freeze you in my memory and in my heart of how you are right now. You are getting so big and soon you won’t fit in my lap anymore. You won’t want me to hold you or kiss your boo-boo’s. You won’t want to hear me tell you how much I love you. So until then I hold onto you a little longer and a little tighter. I tell you a little more tenderly how much you mean to me. And I welcome you in my arms anytime you need me, both today and fifty years from now.
Happy Birthday, my precious Conner. I love you more than you will ever know.
Love,
Mama
John says:
Conner,
Happy Birthday to my best friend (only friend)! I wish we could play today, but I’m getting better so we will play soon!
Love,
John
January 22nd, 2008 at 6:15 am
bee says:
Such a sweet post!
Happy Birthday Conner!
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:01 am
Nana Grahl says:
Dear Candace,
this is precious…it makes me know for sure I missed out on so much with my kids. I am very thankful that you and Wendy both stay home…you will never regret it!
Love,
Karen
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:14 am
kelly says:
so sweet!
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:36 am
Amber says:
Happy Birthday Conner!
That was so sweet, Candace. You are a wonderful wonderful mother!!
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:49 am
Emily says:
Happy Birthday sweet boy!! And so beautifully written, Candace. What a treasure you are to him.
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:53 am
Amy Martin says:
Happy Birthday little man! You have one amazing mom!
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:59 am
Rachel says:
I am really not sure if I have seen a cuter little boy in my life time. You can tell from your words how proud of a mommy you are and I think that is just completely awesome. Happy Birthday Conor.
January 22nd, 2008 at 9:15 am
Elizabeth (formerly devriesthree) says:
Oh, you two (four) are so special. Happy Birthday Conner!
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:17 am
Andrea says:
Very sweet! Happy birthday, Conner. Your mom is a good blogger.
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Kim says:
Happy Birthday Conner! That is a beautiful post Candace. I love this sentence:
“You are a constant reminder to me of how much the Lord must love me to have blessed me with such an amazing child.”
That is such an incredible statement, it brought tears to my eyes and made me think about my own kids and the Lord’s love for me. Thank you!
January 22nd, 2008 at 12:38 pm
oh amanda says:
Beautiful post, Candace!
Happy Birthday, Conner!
January 22nd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Kelly says:
That was awesome Can! He sure has an electric personality and joy around him. It is so fun to watch him grow and I know Chloe has benefited from Connors gentleness and protectiveness. Thanks for sharing your heart and feelings for him.
January 22nd, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Grandma says:
A very happy birthday to our first grandchild! He is so amazing and fun! Candace, your blog was so sweet.
Love from Grandma S.
January 22nd, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Melany says:
That is so beautiful Candace. A huge happy birthday to your two year old
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Staci says:
So sweet! Happy Birthday Conner!!
January 23rd, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Stephanie Whatley says:
Candace,
Miss Karen told me to read this and I am so glad that I did. My eyes were misty the whole way through. You did a beautiful job expressing your heart and I am blessed for having read it.
Steph
February 5th, 2008 at 10:40 am