I’m not going to say I sigh heavily when I’m “tagged” on any kind of blog-meme, because who doesn’t love to see their name and blog written on someone else’s? And since I really have nothing else to blog about (okay, that was a lie, I just don’t feel right blogging about some things yet - you understand, right? No? Fine, go pout.) I’m doubling-up on two tags I’ve been sent.

The first is from Subu and she got me with one of those share weird and borderline creepy things about yourself. I’ve done this before, and it’s not that I can’t think of any, if just…well yeah I’m so used to my overall weirdness, nothing is jumping out at me except the following three things. I love diving right into the inner workings of people, don’t you? So without further ado: more reasons you should not admire me.

1) I rub paper. I’ve mentioned this before but it bears repeating because this is a serious addiction. I’ll take an innocent piece of paper, fold it in half, then in half again, half again, until it’s a small square and then rub the corners until they’re dull. I will then keep folding and refolding and rubbing and dulling until it’s a mass of ripped, soft paper. I’ve done this since I was little and at the ripe age of 26 I still do it, especially if I’m bored or stressed. Sometimes it gets so bad that Tim will not give me dollar bills to hang onto b/c I will start rubbing them. Some of my friends can attest to this, and thank you to those who DO NOT CALL ATTENTION TO IT.

2) I used to think the piece of furniture called chest of drawers was actually called chester drawers. Like there was a company called “chester” who trademarked this particular piece, much like how everyone calls a tissue a kleenex, whether it’s a Kleenex brand or not. I did this up until a few years back when I said it to Tim and his face contorted in this half-confused/half-entertained look and said, “chester what?” It was worsened by the fact that I repeated it to him, with certainty, like that was in fact what they are to be called. I still do it if I don’t think carefully before I say it.

3) My family loves the Dairy Queen ice cream cakes, so for one of our birthdays (can’t remember which) we had one, and I love to eat the big flowers they put on top (made of 100% crisco, you know the ones I’m taking about). So on this particular cake, I had eaten this giant red rose, loving every bite of it. The next day I had to go #2 and my poop was completely red. As in COMPLETELY. RED. I panicked, and being the hypochondriac that I was at the time, ran out of the bathroom, crying that I must have some kind of cancer since my poop was red. I made everyone come and look at it, including our innocent foreign exchange student from Norway, to confirm that I must be dying. It was a few days later before we put two-and-two together and realized that red dye #40 is a very powerful thing to ingest. It will turn your poop red.

The second tag I got was from Bee, who I *heart* and would love to meet up with eventually, and I am to name five blogs that I have to read daily. My bloglines have taken a life of their own since I don’t have time to read blogs like I used to (and NoBloPoMo screwed me really bad in making me fall farther behind), but these five were the first that jumped out at me that I really enjoy and want to spread some linky-love.

1) Will Blog for Shoes - not trying to be the “oh I love your blog, too!” b/c I really do. Bee deserves a stellar pair of shoes, a tiara and a stunning sash that reads, “Miss Congeniality, with a side of sunshine coming out of my rear” You make me laugh with your wit and I get a smidge giddy when your blog is lit up on my blog reader.

2) Oh Amanda - I loved her blog from the beginning and since meeting her in person I look forward to reading about her life and talking with her any chance I get. And never mind that her little girl is one of the prettiest I think I’ve ever seen.

3) Greenbean Baby - Ellia is an amazingly talented artist who makes the coolest things from paper. I found her blog a few months back and have enjoyed reading about her craft, and how she juggles it all with two children as well. She is certainly an inspiration!

4) Jessica Claire - while I am fascinated by photography, I’m just the hobbyist. However I love looking at photographs and Jessica’s are probably my favorite. They’re so stunning and brilliant and I feel like the colors leap from my monitor and are total eye-candy. I love looking through her gallery and if you can appreciate amazing photography, I highly recommend her site.

5) The Superficial - okay, this one is a guilty pleasure and he’s pretty crass, but if anyone can make fun of Hollywood and do it with so much wit and inappropriate suggestions, it’s this guy.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I must continue my day of running around frantically and then join the largest slumber party I’ve ever been too - eighty-five church women locked in a building for twenty-one hours. Y’all pray for me.

Another year - it’s so hard to believe! I know time only seems to race by the older you get, but this feels insane. My baby is turning two in a few short weeks (two, people!! when did this happen??), we’re having another baby, we sold our house and are looking to move on up (more to come on that later), and that’s just the things I know about now at the present. I tend to get a bit…tizzied when life gets crazy. Tim is so patient in dealing with me when I enter this state of extreme craziness, so knowing just how busy and insane our lives are going to get in the coming months, I’ve really resolved this year to simplify. I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to go about doing that. All I know is it’s something that I’ve been thinking about for the last few months, easy ways, every day, to simplify. Part of me is going to really struggle with this. It’s the same personality that tried to talk me into making another batch of peanut butter balls on Christmas Eve because I thought I might’ve left someone out. This personality is very rarely right and always causes strife. There are other personalities that can cause problems yet they’re fun to have around, but this one I want banished for good.

So that’s my main New Year’s Resolution. Simplify. Sounds…simple? We shall see. There are a few other’s here and there, but one that I was happy to not scribble out was losing weight - that will be a July resolution. I leave you with this picture of a new way to introduce potty training to your toddler. One of those candy-pooping animals. You push his bottom and out pops a poo. This makes Conner laugh hysterically and he claps every time the bear relieves a jellybean. I wonder if he’ll enjoy being potty trained just as much.

This year will be really hard to say good-bye to. I don’t normally get attached to years, per se, but this one holds so many memories, both great and agonizing and I will look back on 2007 and say that’s the year my life really started.

If I could sum it all up in one word it would be redemption. I had demons that followed me for years, past hurts and mistakes that on my own I could not shake. But the Lord sought after me tirelessly, loved on me, accepted me, and best of all redeemed me. I no longer walk around characterized by my wounds, nor do I identify myself with my faults. I am a new creature in Christ. I can proclaim with David that he lifted me out of the muddy pit and put a new song in my mouth. He took this empty shell of a woman and filled her with his peace and strength and love, with so much more on the way. This didn’t happen quickly, and there were times I wanted everything to stay the same because it was hurting too much. But faith without suffering does not exist, and even when life hit the skids I was reminded of Philippians 1:6, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

If I could sum up something that I’ve learned this year is that God is good. He is so good. Even thinking on his goodness it’s hard for me not to fall on my face and thank him for this. I know that I am nothing without Him. Life sucks sometimes and I can’t imagine not having a God to cling to when things are just rotten. I have never felt peace in so many storms than when I know the Lord, God above all gods is braving them with me. That the creator of all things swoops down to find me in my time of need, and love on me, provide for me, rescue me, and restore me.

I don’t normally use this blog as a platform for these kinds of posts, but today I simply want to proclaim what the Lord has done for me and praise him for his goodness. I never thought people could change, that you could try to act differently but at your core you are still the same. But now I know that is not true. I get to look in the mirror everyday and realize that I am changed. God changes people. God changed me. He saw something in me and through the tireless and continual prayers of others, and of his own pure and jealous love for me sought after me and redeemed me.

I’ve gotten to see God in many forms in my life - Jehovah Jireh, my Provider; Jehovah Machsi, my Refuge; Jehovah Rohi, my Shepherd; and now, Jehovah Gaal, my Redeemer. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for redeeming me. My heart and my life will be forever thankful.

May 2008 bless you as much as 2007. Have a safe and wonderful New Year!

I think I can speak for most moms when I say you try your best each and everyday to care for your child physically and emotionally. But sometimes it takes being run over by a truck for you to realize when you’ve messed up, and then you walk around feeling guilty the rest of the afternoon.

Since having put our Christmas stuff up, I had to do some rearranging in the living room. We moved his toy cubbies and basket into the dining room, and Conner seemed to have adapted just fine to that. We’ve worked so hard and have now become spoiled when he ask him to clean up his toys, for he does it so well and is getting better and better everyday at staying on task.

Yesterday after lunch, I asked him to pick up his toys and put them away. He proceeded to go to the ones in the corner, sit, and play with them. After a stern warning, he didn’t move, he just continued to fiddle with them. So into time-out he went. A minute later we tried again, and he did the same thing, except he wasn’t playing, he just sat in front of them and turned to look at me. Time-out again. Third time, I got down on his level and very sternly told him to clean up his toys, but he just looked at me and began to cry. I sighed very heavily and raised my voice to tell him to clean up or he was going back into time-out. He slowly walked to the toys, sat in the floor and continued to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he pushed the toys together in the corner and kept crying. Then it hit me: that’s where his toys used to go. He thought they were put away and was confused. Talk about feeling like a horrible mother. So I went over and put the toys into his hands, I grabbed a toy, and said, “Let’s do it together,” and of course to make me feel even more guilty, he took my hand and smiled at me so big it looked like it was going to explode off his face. Once I showed him, again, where the toys go, he eagerly and happily continued putting the rest away. It’s times like this that I wish so much he could communicate with me better. Or that I would get over myself faster and be open to what he is trying to tell me.

When my computer decided to go ape-crazy on me a few weeks ago, I immediately went into panic mode. I had just recently backed up all my files so that wasn’t a worry. I was more upset by the fact that I couldn’t check my email 100 times a day until it got fixed. I mean, how else will someone be able to contact me?

The first day was pretty hard - I got to check my email before Tim left for work, and then again when he got home. Twice. That’s it. It was awwwwwwful. When Conner went down for his nap, what was I supposed to do? Certainly not read - no, no, no, I don’t read. That was my ‘net surfing time. No more blog reading. No more emailing. No more watching random YouTube video’s and forwarding them to everyone to see if they thought it was as funny as I did (which they never do because let’s face it - I laugh at everything).

I hated not having my laptop handy. But as the days went on, I came to realize just how much stinking time I waste on that thing. And I mean waste. Don’t take offense to anyone who’s blog I read and comment on, or who I email regularly - it’s not you…it’s me. And it’s all the other junk I read.

So what have I been doing with all my newfound freetime? Well, for starters I got all my crafting done for the fair that is to be held tomorrow morning. That was such a relief to get it finished and not a moment too soon. I even finished in enough time to whip-up some yummy fall treats, which, are making me salivate worse than Pavlov’s dogs.

I also spent a few days visiting the in-laws in Georgia and it was so much fun! Conner did great on the flights (on the way down he was a little overtired and couldn’t just point to the pictures in his book, but point and squeal “Apple!” or “Ball!” - the lady in front of us actually moved to the back of the plane after a few rounds of “Mama! Cat! Mama! Cat!”) and was so compliant when he was lugged all over creation. Conner has never been a big talker - not tangible words, that is - and in the last few weeks he was just beginning to talk more. But getting him in a different environment must have inspired him because his vocabulary just exploded! He was saying things I’ve never heard before…and never remembered teaching him. It was pretty cool, but also a reminder to be careful what I say when I make a woopsy. Hearing your toddler say “Cap!” instead of “Crap!” will only be funny for so long.

My crafty cohort, Jen, and I were invited to be on a local news show to talk about the craft fair we’re participating in tomorrow, and to show off some of our goods. At first I was reluctant - TV? No way. I’ve got so much to do, not to mention the camera adds 10 pounds, so I had to lose 10 pounds pronto, ya know, balance it all out. But after much persuading, I decided to do it and it wasn’t as punishing as I thought it would be. I wish they would post the video so I could upload it - I straightened my hair for it, brushed my teeth and everything…it was a big deal - so if they do I most certainly will link to it.

I feel like we need to catch up on so much more. How are you? How has your fall been going so far? Seen any good movies? No? Me either. Except for the Princess Diaries 2 that I tivo’d a few weeks ago. I love Anne Hathaway, she’s so beautiful and classy. And Julie Andrews - she’s amazing. Ah, I digress.

It’s time for me to rest my weary bones. I leave you with these grubbin’ pictures of Conner. This first one, his hair reminds me of Harry from Dumb & Dumber (my favorite line after Lloyd had rigged the blind boy’s beloved dead bird - “Harry! I took care of it!”)

Conner, how do you feel about PB&J?

Who’s my happy boy?

*The clutches and tote bags above are for the craft fair and any leftovers will be put in my etsy shop next week.