If this heat doesn’t send me into early labor, working like a dog certainly should. It was my own fault for putting so much off, but it’s hard when you’re pregnant and moving like a grizzly bear that’s been shot in the butt by a tranquilizer, and also while you’re caring for a very busy toddler. While my appointment last week did throw me into a tailspin of worry, and in between the ultrasound and waiting to see the doctor I shed a few frustrated tears because Max CAN NOT COME EARLY since I am so not ready, but those fears have really subsided as I realize it’s all just a guesstimate, and I really have no say in the matter. My doctor did give me two possibilities and that one would probably be definite: either Max will come early (YIPES!) or he will arrive on time and be bigger than Conner (this was the part where my lady bits shrieked in horror). The former definitely sounds better than the latter, but I really do believe in God’s perfect timing and so my prayers have shifted to just asking that I be ready whenever and however it happens. And that I am not ripped from stem to stern. Yowsa. Buying clothes for my baby boy definitely helps take the edge off of his imminent birth - so cute!

Conner’s been going through a rough spot now and for moms of toddlers, please tell me they get over themselves? I swear I feel like I’m dealing with a teenager. One minute he wants to kiss all over me and can’t get enough of me and literally the next minute he is disgusted at my presence, utterly annoyed that I am breathing the same air as him. Emotions are certainly running high around here as I want to just enjoy these final days of it being just the two of us but it’s hard. I know it’s growing pains and I need to be patient but I thought we were over a lot of this last summer. Parenting is hard!

One huge bummer with me trying to get all the nitty-gritties done before the baby is I’ve had zero time to craft. I did make some burp cloths for Max, but that’s the extent of my crafting. I was hoping to go out with a bang, since I knew that would be the first thing to take the back-burner once he arrived but that is not the case. Ah well, I suppose I’ll survive. I leave you with some pictures that my good friend Amy Martin took of us about a month ago. I count myself so lucky to be surrounded by such talent and appreciate her taking the time. Thanks so much Amy - we love them!

Just the three of us (for now)

Conner, you look like you’re up to something

He’s such a ladykiller

I could eat that face right off

Me and the babydaddy

Tim quoting 30 Rock to me - does it every time

So I won’t talk about how busy or stressed out I’ve been trying to get everything ready for the baby, or how I was thrown into the super-stressed-mode by an ultrasound this past Thursday that showed Max measuring three weeks ahead (yes, I’m due in four…you do the math), or the fact that I had an emergency root canal done yesterday afternoon after dealing with the throbbing pain all weekend (but I *heart* my dentist so much, even tho it’s weird hearing him and his assistant humming “Sexual Healing” along with the radio while performing the procedure) so instead I will show you some pictures of Conner’s first camping trip with daddy.

This past Friday Tim and Conner met up with Conner’s B.F.F. and his daddy at a nearby campground for some male-bonding (translated: free night for mommy!!). I was mildly jealous that I wouldn’t be able to go since it was boys only, and hello, I’m not sleeping on the ground nine months pregnant. But that jealousy literally melted away as the temperature rose to 95 degrees and only went down to the 70’s that night. Me no likey the heat. But Conner and Tim didn’t seem to mind and had a blast anyways.

Look at those cute little sweaty heads

I love this one

This cracked me up - what daddy’s really teach their sons: Fire is fun! Amanda, did he tell you about this?

I was hoping to show more pictures (like the ones the fabulous Amy Martin took for us, and then some of the nursery) but my picture software is acting up so you must wait. The rest of the week I shall busy myself with lovely last-minute tasks like packing my hospital bag and cleaning the house from top to bottom. Wish me fun times!

I knew that having a toddler would mean I would get to use a lot of band-aids and kiss a lot of booboo’s, but sometimes you have to deal with a little more than superficial wounds. Conner has recently given me a few scares that have caused a few wrinkles to pop out, but also a thankful heart to be opened up.

A few weeks back we were eating lunch with a friend, and he began to choke on a pretzel. I remember from my CPR class (that I took many, many moons ago) that as long as they are coughing, it meant air was getting in and out and you shouldn’t smack them on the back or help them physically. But Conner began to get panicked as he couldn’t catch his breath and then in an instant he went from red-faced to completely purple and not able to breathe. Have you ever seen your child full-out choking? Did it scare the crap out of you? It should. It was terrifying. I jumped out of my chair and began the heimlich, which on the second attempt caused his food to dislodge and he vomitted on the table. As he sobbed into my chest for a good bit it didn’t hit me until later what had happened, and then as my baby took a nap in his crib, I sat and sobbed outside his bedroom door.

Today while at a friends house, we were sitting in the kitchen and Conner fell against a door and popped it open (that I thought was just the pantry) and began to fall backwards down the basement steps. It took a minute for me to realize what was going on, but as I kept hearing the thud of each step he hit, I began to panic. He was okay - just scared out of his mind - and as I checked him over he began to calm down and I breathed a sigh of relief that there would be no lasting effects except a fear of that particular doorway. Within a few minutes he was laughing and playing again, totally unphased by what had happened. It wasn’t until a few hours later as I was praising Jesus that he was okay, that those horrible “what if’s” crept into my mind, and then I couldn’t stop crying.

The thing that is sobering in both of these instances is they were complete accidents - I wasn’t in another room not watching him or not paying attention, both times I was siting right there with him and it just happened. And it happened so fast. Today was probably the worst of the two situations and as I sat there sobbing over the what-if’s, I kept thinking that just as fast as it happened, I could’ve lost him just like that. One minute I’m laughing and talking with a friend, the next my child is gone.

As Tim was giving Conner his bath tonight, they were laughing and talking and Conner kept laughing this laugh that only Tim can get him to do. And my eyes welled up with tears at the thought of never getting to hear that laugh again. Life is so short and it’s so precious and it can change in the blink of an eye. It made me thank God so much for protecting Conner, in these instances and even the ones that don’t seem so threatening, and also send up a prayer for any mother who has ever lost a child. Our time on this earth is so limited - enjoy your babies, hug them, kiss them and tell them you love them everyday. You’ll never regret that you did.

Holiday weekends are always so much fun, but the older your kids get (and the more you’re reproducing), the more exhausting they are! But let’s not fixate on the exhausting part - on to some pictures!

Saturday we colored eggs with Conner which, I don’t know why I was surprised, but he made a mess. After explaining twenty times that you gently place the egg in the colored water, not hold it up high and let it cannonball in, he still wasn’t getting it but look at that face - having so much fun!

I really can’t wait until he’s a little older and we can dive into some seriously fun art projects together.

Every Easter we gather at my parents house for lunch and a good ol’ Easter egg hunt. It’s still a concept that is lost on him right now, but with a little direction he found all his eggs (and a few for that were meant for the big kids, too - hey, if you lose out to a two-year old I don’t feel bad for you).

And the fun part - finding out what’s inside the eggs.

I said I would post a hair pic, and as you can see it’s really anticlimactic. Just a trim, she did cut longer bangs which I hate, but I always think it’ll be different this time and it never is and two days later I’m styling and clipping them to the side. I had a before picture, which got lost when my hard-drive went berserk a few weeks ago, so here’s a pic of it at Christmas (which nothing had changed from then anyways):

And after:

Hello sunshine! It’s not that much of a difference but having had it darker for four years it was quite an adjustment. I wanted to go really blonde, but thought I needed to ease into the water, not dive in head-first esp. since pregnancy sends my indecisiveness to the tenth degree. And then here’s a 25-week belly shot just for funsies. Hope you all had a fabulous holiday!

Can we take a deep breath together? Is everyone else moving at warp speed even after the holidays? Shew, I feel like I need to just inhale deeply and let my heart rate slow down for an indefinite amount of time. I shouldn’t complain - January normally creeeeeeeps by and this year it’s just whizzed right past me so that’s nice, but I’m ready to resume a fairly slow and boring life again. I don’t see that happening anytime soon so I guess I should just buckle up and enjoy it.

A few weeks ago my good friend Jen and I decided that since our boys were born only weeks a part and they have the same circle of friends that we would do a combined birthday party for them. It was so great and it worked out perfect - it was cheaper, easier on our friends, and just a fun time. I highly recommend this! We held it at an indoor play park that was FREE to rent (cha-ching!) so we got the kids all hopped up on sugar and then sent them in to play.

The play park has a water-theme to the decor, so we just extended that to the party and did everything in fish. A shot of the cuppies:

Last week we FINALLY got some snow and for once I wasn’t the only one who went nuts over it. Conner’s recently become obsessed with snow and snowballs, so as soon as he woke up I took him to the window and asked what it was and his eyes got as big as golf balls and this huge smile spread across his face as he exclaimed, “SNOW!!!” And that’s all we heard about all morning. This was Conner’s first official snow, so we bundled him up and took him out in it and holy smokes this kid had the time of his life.

He didn’t care that his cheeks were beet red and his gloves were getting packed with snow - when it was time to come inside he had a breakdown and boohoo’d for a good while. I’m so glad that Conner shares in my love of the snow.

As exciting as the snow was and celebrating my baby boy turning two (sniff, sniff), the big news around here is we bought a new house! I’ve been kind of mum about it, just because it is such a vulnerable process and once you put something “out there” you may have to do a lot of explaining if it doesn’t work out. And part of me just really wanted to protect this as much as I could. We sold our house by owner at the start of the month (totally a God-thing - we were approached by buyers and it just worked out beautifully!!) and were renting back from the buyer until we found something. We drug our poor realtor all over the map, both in house-style and price range, and finally decided on something we had looked at a few months ago and it just hung in the back of our minds. After a period of intense prayer and begging the Lord to guide us in what to do, we made our way back to this house, made an offer, it was accepted and in three weeks we will have a beautiful new home to grow our family. I would love to share pictures, but again in an effort to protect this I think I may hold off before I post any pictures. But as soon as we have keys in hand you can bet I will be showing off this gem. And I need to slap some paint on the walls to really show of it’s fabulousity.

Okay, I think we’re all caught up now! February is going to be a big month for us (closing, moving, and finding out if this baby is packing or not - pray for an exhibitionist! I want to know!) and I am just so excited. Now if I can just turn off this pregnancy insomnia and get the rest I desperately need I’ll be all set. I leave you with these pictures of our small family celebration of Conner’s second birthday.

Now that is how you should eat a cupcake.

Dear Conner,

I can not believe I am the mother of a two year old. Where did the last year…the last two years go? I feel like you were born, I blinked, and here we are twenty-four months later. There is so much I want to say to you, because I feel like time is only going to go by faster and before I know it I will be writing a letter to you that you will be reading on your way to college. Even now I struggle to find the right words to say. My heart knows how to speak them, but all I can do is try and convey the feelings to my head which leave me in awe and slightly weepy.

The last year has been one of the best years of my life. I thought you were fun before, but watching you turn into this little person…I never knew kids could be so much fun and could make me laugh so much. Watching your personality emerge has been one of the best parts of this parenting gig. From the way you talk with your hands (like me) to the way you want to listen to the same song on Dane Zanes CD over and over (like your father), you show us snippets of who you are and who you are becoming and I am still so amazed that I get to know you. You are such a treasure. You are a constant reminder to me of how much the Lord must love me to have blessed me with such an amazing child.

I can’t wait to see you step up to your role as a big brother. You are so sensitive and a natural protector. I’ll never forget the nursery worker telling me you always pick the smallest child in the room and make sure no other child takes their sippy cup. We were at the play park last week with a friend and I jokingly told you to watch over her and for the rest of our time there you were by her side. You are not easily provoked, and you draw other’s to you. These are all amazing character traits and I know the Lord is preparing you for something big and I can’t wait to see what that is.

Even tho I’ve been a mom now for two years and feel seasoned in so many ways, each new stage produces unmarked terrain where I have to make a decision and hope it is the best one for you. One of my greatest fears is wounding you, and while I hope any wounds I do inflict are superficial, it’s still something I never want you to feel. Love drives us to do crazy things that don’t always make sense, so I hope you know I do what I do because I love you so much.

Some days I can’t wait for you to be older, since I know it’ll make both our lives easier in certain ways. But most days I want to freeze you in my memory and in my heart of how you are right now. You are getting so big and soon you won’t fit in my lap anymore. You won’t want me to hold you or kiss your boo-boo’s. You won’t want to hear me tell you how much I love you. So until then I hold onto you a little longer and a little tighter. I tell you a little more tenderly how much you mean to me. And I welcome you in my arms anytime you need me, both today and fifty years from now.

Happy Birthday, my precious Conner. I love you more than you will ever know.

Love,

Mama

I could’ve told you a year and a half ago that Conner would be a child who would have trouble focusing. Even now, when you can get his attention, you have about 3.87 seconds to keep it or the moment is over and he’s run off to find something else to entertain himself. I knew this could pose a problem when it came time for the educational elements of toddlerhood, but just like so many times before he amazed me and left me speechless.

Because you can’t make him sit down and learn, I look for opportunities to teach Conner while we are playing. We play with yellow and red balls, build with blue and green blocks and count the stairs every time we go up them. A few weeks ago when we would count, certain numbers would stand out to him, mainly 4, 6 and 8 (OCD maybe?) and he would shout those each time we got to them. Some days you feel like you say the same things and go over the same colors over and over and it never sinks in and you just wait for that day when it does.

Every night after Conner’s bath we do a review of the day, and then I follow his lead on whatever he wants to talk about. Sometimes it’s the birds painted on the walls, and sometimes it’s mama’s eyes, nose and mouth. Last night, with no prompting of my own he grabs his feet and starts counting his toes: “Wuh…Two…Free…Four…” I was excited but then he kept on, “Figh…Sis…Sen…Eight…” I felt my smile get so big as he finished, “Nigh…TEN!” I could not believe my ears. I sat there speechless and then exclaimed, “MY BOY’S A GENIUS!” It was so amazing, it’s so hard to put it into words. To hear your baby boy counting on his own for the first time…I seriously sat there in disbelief. And it wasn’t just the feeling of, “Finally! He gets it!” that washed over me, but just utter and complete joy. Watching your child learn and interact more with their world is always exciting, but something about that…it was so amazing. Definitely one of those moments that I never ever want to forget.

Don’t you think? It was hard getting a picture since they wouldn’t stop squirming, but the movement slowed just a bit so the doctor could snap this shot. Look - I even labeled the parts for you so you know just what the heck you’re looking at. I’m also farther along than the calendar says (which I knew since I got a positive prego test way early), so s/he is measuring 6 days ahead. So between that, and the fact that Conner came early, this kiddo may make an earlier appearance than expected (which as it stands is July 5th). It’s always so surreal to see them on the screen, whether it’s the first ultrasound or the last, but I couldn’t stop squealing. Waiting to see the doctor for 50 minutes, and having my peesh poked and prodded was made up for when he turned the u/s machine on and there was our lil’ baby. Besides the physical this pregnancy has brought, it was great to finally get a look at who was (happily) causing all of my grievances.

I do have to say that I am eating my words already about when I would start showing. I always thought moms were just using the second-time-around as an excuse to jump back into the incredibly comfortable maternity pants a.s.a.p., but I’m realize how wrong I really was. Up until two weeks ago I was still in my skinny jeans, and I don’t say this to have people throw trash at me, but I had a pretty flat stomach still. I just knew I’d make it to the 13th or 14th week before even I could tell I was pregnant. But then last week I started to notice a bit of a change…and then literally this weekend I swear I woke up Saturday and my belly was so firm, and was making itself known. Some of my friends have contested this, doing the ol’ “Oh, but you look so great!” (which, don’t get me wrong, I EAT IT UP), but you know your body and you know how your body looks and feels, and this my friend is the first evidence that my body is being taken over and I am just the host.

The only complaint that I really have about pregnancy this time around isn’t the exhaustion and it isn’t the unpredictability in nausea, but it’s the acne. Ohmygosh I feel like a 15-year-old again, that started with one little bugger who then invited all his friends and every morning a new one is added to the mix. And, ugh, this morning there was one of those super painful ones that feels like it’s rooted in the bone and you know it packed it’s winter and summer clothes b/c it’s going to hang around for. freaking. ever. So gross. I was going to take a picture of it, but c’mon - who really wants to see that?

Tim has taught Conner how to take his clothes off (mainly in preparation for a bath in the evenings), but as you can see, he does this any chance he gets.

I’m still trying to figure out how he did this one. And he’s so stinking fast at it. One minute you’re reaching for a can of corn at the grocery store, and you turn back around and your toddler has his arm poking out of the neck hole. Or you take your dishes to the kitchen and return to the living room to find your toddler standing with his pants in one hand, diaper in the other, and peeing on the hardwood floor.

That’s all for today, folks. We got our first sprinkling of snow and I got a smidge giddy watching it fall. I would love to have some snow before Christmas - it’s just so festive. But this is Virginia after all, and it doesn’t know what time of year it is half the time, so I just cross my fingers and enjoy what we do get. Hope your staying warm wherever you are!

I think I can speak for most moms when I say you try your best each and everyday to care for your child physically and emotionally. But sometimes it takes being run over by a truck for you to realize when you’ve messed up, and then you walk around feeling guilty the rest of the afternoon.

Since having put our Christmas stuff up, I had to do some rearranging in the living room. We moved his toy cubbies and basket into the dining room, and Conner seemed to have adapted just fine to that. We’ve worked so hard and have now become spoiled when he ask him to clean up his toys, for he does it so well and is getting better and better everyday at staying on task.

Yesterday after lunch, I asked him to pick up his toys and put them away. He proceeded to go to the ones in the corner, sit, and play with them. After a stern warning, he didn’t move, he just continued to fiddle with them. So into time-out he went. A minute later we tried again, and he did the same thing, except he wasn’t playing, he just sat in front of them and turned to look at me. Time-out again. Third time, I got down on his level and very sternly told him to clean up his toys, but he just looked at me and began to cry. I sighed very heavily and raised my voice to tell him to clean up or he was going back into time-out. He slowly walked to the toys, sat in the floor and continued to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he pushed the toys together in the corner and kept crying. Then it hit me: that’s where his toys used to go. He thought they were put away and was confused. Talk about feeling like a horrible mother. So I went over and put the toys into his hands, I grabbed a toy, and said, “Let’s do it together,” and of course to make me feel even more guilty, he took my hand and smiled at me so big it looked like it was going to explode off his face. Once I showed him, again, where the toys go, he eagerly and happily continued putting the rest away. It’s times like this that I wish so much he could communicate with me better. Or that I would get over myself faster and be open to what he is trying to tell me.

If there was ever a time to pull out maternity pants early, it is the weekend after Thanksgiving. I think I ate myself into a coma on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I jumped on the scale this morning and grimaced painfully until the numbers popped up and was relieved to find I only gained a pound. So technically I’m still under my previous pre-prego weight, which honestly is a huge relief. With Conner I gained 7 pounds in the first trimester, and I’m at week 9 with one pound gained as of yet. Now how my pants are fitting in the waist is a little different. I thought I could make it until the second trimester before I started breaking out the elastic, but instead I’m having to opt for my low-rise jeans. It’s fun tho - I can’t complain. So here’s a belly shot for you - the first of many.

Thanksgiving was so fun - it always is - and we got our fill of family and food. We started the day out watching Tim play a little football and poor Conner…wanting to be a big boy so badly, he bawled on the sidelines after the game started b/c he couldn’t play with them on the field. It’s hard to explain to an almost two year why he can’t play football with giants who will bowl him over - I don’t want him wearing helmets and licking windows the rest of his life.

This year our good friends Jerrod and Amanda joined us and it was just as much fun having friends among the chaos. The boys played the entire time and Conner slept like a rock. I always seem to forget just how much I love Thanksgiving, and leave thinking, “wow, that was so much fun!” We really are blessed to have so many friends and family nearby that we can all gather together at the same place and fellowship together.

Sunday I forced myself to decorate for the holidays. I really do go all out, but this year I just wasn’t feeling it. I don’t want to be a scrooge about it, but it just takes soooooo long. But Tim gently (and guiltily) reminded me that this will be our last Christmas in this house, so why not remember it the right way? So all the greenery is back up and fluffed and lit with twinkly lights and our world is right with itself. Conner helped us decorate the tree and is absolutely enamored by it. He pulls us into the living room at least twenty times over the course of the day to point at it and exclaim emphatically, “Sisma Tee!”

You can’t really tell in this picture, but Conner’s head about exploded when he saw all the Christmas balls. The boy is obsessed.

I’m also one of those people who does not shop until the last week of Christmas. I would love to say it’s b/c of all the deals you get when you wait, but it’s not - it’s sheer laziness. However this year is already different in that Conner is bought for, Tim’s stuff is ordered and I’ve already begun rounding up the gifts for everyone else. I really surprise myself. I know it sucks all of my Christmas spirit when the week before the big day I’m stressing that nothing has been bought, so I really do think those days are over, for I’m already nestled into the spirit of the Holidays and my shopping and buying and making is almost complete. I am hoping to do another giveaway very very soon, so check back for another crafty giveaway (that may or may not be a clutch - haven’t decided yet).