Love those blue eyes! I’m torn between wanting to look at them all day and completely enjoying all the snoozing he’s doing. Conner is quite fascinated with him as well, especially when it’s time to nurse him. But he gets to help change diapers and be on paci-patrol and it makes him feel quite special and that makes me so happy. He’s always kissing on him and wanting to hold him so these moments are pretty regular in our house.

My family has been so awesome this last week. Everyone was so concerned about my induction, even amidst the death of my grandmother (talk about me stealing the spotlight, right?) and the calls and stop-ins have been really nice. My mom was able to be in the delivery room and I was so happy to have her be a part of Max’s arrival. Thanks for not grimacing at all that you saw, mom! My fantastic and sacrificial mother in law has been in town doing everything and anything for me so I can sit on my fanny, prop my feet up and love on my boys. She leaves this weekend and we will certainly be sad to see her go, however I am anxious to see how we will function now as a family of four. Conner certainly soaks up his Nana and Papa when they’re in town, especially since Papa gets him cool toys and takes him outside to train him for his baseball career.

Today we will spend the better part of morning and afternoon outside, enjoying the holiday. Have a happy 4th!

So what does someone do who really really doesn’t want to be induced do? You try and induce yourself! I got up at 5:30 am and walked three miles around our neighborhood, praying that I would go into labor naturally. I even threw in some squats and stretching for extra measure, but nada. So we packed up our stuff and on to the hospital we went. When we got to L&D, they got me started with the prolastaglandin gel and I hoped and prayed that would be enough, esp. since I was already dilated to a two, 60% effaced and he was stationed at a -1. But that was wishful thinking. It gave me some contractions but nothing to get excited about and Tim and I began walking around the hospital. At noon I reported back to have them check me, convinced I’d be at least a four but I was only dilated to a three. So then they broke my water, which did nothing except give me hard and fast contractions, and couple that with a few more hours of walking and you can imagine my sheer horror when at 6 pm I was still only at a three. What the what?! Those contractions were two minutes apart and they were hurting like a mother! The last shot was giving me the pitocin which I wanted to be the last resort and the desire to labor naturally was waning. My confidence had been completely leveled, and after ten hours I was so exhausted and ready to have Max no matter what it took that I also opted for the Epidural (did I just hear some of you gasp?). And can I say, IT WAS WONDERFUL! Sweet Nectar of the Gods I’ve heard it described and it’s so true. As soon as the epidural was administered, I began to have such a peace - I can’t describe it. I knew it was just the way it needed to be done this time around and not one part of me regrets doing it. After the epi began to work I was feeling so good. I mean gooooood. I got my sense of humor back, I was finally beginning to relax and not be so frustrated at the day, and most importantly it gave me the renewal I needed to get excited about meeting my little boy.

Around 9 pm the nurse checked me after being on the pitocin for two hours and I was only at a four. No biggie - I figured it would take a while so I watched some 30 Rock, joked and visited with family and planned to take a cat nap before I had to start pushing. At 10 pm the nurse came in to check me since my contractions were “getting good” and was floored when she said I was at a seven - from three to a seven after only an hour? Sweeeeet! My in laws came by to visit, which was really fun and we all joked and talked with the staff as they began to prepare my room for the delivery. At 10:30 the nurse came in to check me and said, “You’re complete. You’re at a ten.” DID SHE JUST SAY I WAS AT A TEN?! Tim and I looked at each other in complete disbelief - going from not much to “you’re ready” in just a few hours are you kidding me? She told me to do a practice push and then quickly told me to stop and paged the doctor to come in.

With Conner I pushed for fourty long and agonizing minutes. Five minutes of pushing and Max was born. As I held him on my chest I was in complete disbelief that he was actually here, and before midnight! As exhausting as the day was, the efficiency and excitement of the last hour made it all worth it.

Now the mushy part. I don’t think I can put into words how much I adore this baby. I know that’s a statement every mother makes, but I can not imagine what life would be like without him in it. Just as it did with Conner, I feel like he’s always been a part of our family. I was so worried I wouldn’t love him as much as Conner but everyone was right - you do, and while it’s different, it’s still good and amazing.

Conner gave us a crash-course into the world of raising a newborn and it took over a year for me to get over it and begin to think about having another. The last months of my pregnancy were spent begging the Lord to redeem this process for us, for I didn’t think I had it in me to do it all over again. I prayed Max would be gentle and calm, and have a peaceful disposition. I prayed he would nurse well, sleep well and on his own, and would be low-maintenance. I made no bones about being specific and laid all my fears and concerns before Him for these were the things I honestly wanted.

Within minutes of Max’s arrival I new the Lord had answered those prayers. Max has the very qualities that I had asked for: he’s gentle, calm and peaceful. I can already tell he’s going to be my strong, silent boy. He’s such a sweetheart and we are already enjoying him so much. I am excited and anxious to learn more about this little guy and know that he is already a perfect fit to our amazing family. God is so good. He is the giver of good gifts and all that Max is to me, Tim and Conner is certainly one amazing gift. I am truly humbled that the Lord has not only heard my prayers, but answered them in one of the sweetest ways possible.

That’s all I can muster today. Please keep my family in your prayers as my grandmother passed away early yesterday morning. It was sudden and yet not, but it’s sad and exhausting nonetheless.

So I won’t win the award for best procrastinator, not like I thought I would. It only took eight months of being pregnant and three of those being in a new house but I was finally ready to nest! One could assume that moving while you’re five months pregnant should catapult you into nesting-mode but it did the complete opposite for me. The downstairs was assembled and complete, but upstairs…well now that was a different story. But this past month I got a righteous anger about it, stopped hemming and hawing over paint samples and bedding preferences and went to town.

I’ll start with the kids bath and it isn’t that special, I’m just glad it’s painted and put together (had to say no to the beige!). Conner is the only one who uses it (and not even anymore since he’s been showering with daddy, which he much prefers anyways) but at least I can cross it off the list of rooms to put together. I love the yellow - I read somewhere that you should use bright colors in smaller rooms with no windows, like bathrooms and closets. So that’s what I did.

Ah, the nursery. How I loathed and sulked over you for so long. As you can see, we did not go with the mod-dots as we all had decided. It’s not because I don’t love you or care about your opinion, it’s just unless everyone could give to the “Baby Max Nursery Fund” we needed another option. I couldn’t justifying spending the money on just the bedding (not to mention the cash we were going to drop on Conner’s new bed, mattress, and bedding), so I opted for one from Target that was significantly cheaper, and I actually like it better (after I tweaked it some). Still plenty of dots to keep my heart content, but with plenty of cash left over to buy everything else I wanted, too. So I slapped some green on an accent wall, painted a tree and placed some reusable decals and voila!

I love it so much! I highly recommend doing the decals since it was easy and cheap and so cute.

Some playful prints that I sketched on the computer and framed so that the dots wouldn’t take over.

A must have for every nursery - a changing station.

Hear that whistling sound? That’s the pressure being let off in my head now that it’s done and my baby has a room! Conner’s room is about 50% done and I’m still hoping to have it done by the time Max gets here, but even if not it will be very soon after. So that’s five rooms down, only three more to go. I’m getting there and it feels goooooooooooood.

That’s me, folks! And now for the close-up

I am two weeks from my due date and can I just say how amazed I am that I’m just about done? I can not believe the end is almost here. I’m one of those goobers who loves being pregnant, but pregnancy is also kind to me so it’s easy for me to enjoy it. I have no idea what is in store for our family in terms of more kids so I’m just trying to enjoy the last of this for it really may be the last for me. But I don’t want to be pregnant forever - I’m anxious to meet my little boy.

It’s certainly been harder to connect with this wee one since I already have a child who occupies 95% of my time, but fixing up the nursery and what little crafting I have done for him have helped tremendously. I couldn’t find a newborn hat that I liked so what does one do when that happens? You whip up one of your own.

It’s actually supposed to fit a 3-6 month old, but let’s face it, this kiddo’s noggin is going to be huge (my kids get it honest - I am twenty-seven and still haven’t grown into my head) so I think it should be fine. I’m hoping to whip up a matching blanket but we’ll see - that takes low priority on the totem poll right now.

My to-do list is slowly but steadily dwindling down and I’m just hoping Max stays tight and cozy until the end of this weekend. I think once I get to next Sunday I’ll be ready physically and mentally and then next week I’ll be chomping at the bit for him to get out. We’ve got our bags packed, things are put away and organized, and most importantly, our Tivo is set and ready to be worked out. I normally hate summer TV but being able to record so much, and also the fact that networks are realizing they need to monopolize on the summer hiatus for most shows, I am very excited. Some of my favorites are SYTYCD, Burn Notice, and Psych. I also loved the first season of Flipping Out and was so happy to hear Bravo brought it back for another season. Not to mention we’ll be working our Netflix like no ones business since we’ll be shut in with a newborn for most of the summer. I’m actually excited about being forced to slowdown. It seems like life has gotten out of control lately and to have nature force you to slow down and change your cadence seems like such a welcome change, esp. during a time of year that naturally seems to want to give you a break.

People have asked me what my cravings have been with Max (no meat this time - I think I’ve had four hamburgers with this baby, unlike the 250+ with Conner) and it first started with cheddar on wheat thins, then it morphed into the white fudge covered pretzels (thank you Sams Club for the big box of Flipz!) and now it’s bean salad. Ohmygosh, I’ve been making it every week for the last few weeks and while I’m usually the only one who eats it, I don’t care it’s so good! The sugar, the vinegar…it’s really my version of pigging out on pickles but it’s so much better than pickles. I totally recommend this recipe, esp. if you want a chilled side dish for the summertime. Love it!

Four Bean Salad

1 (14.5 ounce) can green beans, drained
1 (14.5 ounce) can black beans, drained
1 (14.5 ounce) can red kidney beans, drained
1 14.5 ounce) can garbanzo beans, drained
1 red onion, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
3/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3/4 teaspoon ground dry mustard
1/2 teaspoon dried tarragon
1 1/2 teaspoons dried cilantro

In a large bowl, layer the beans, onion and green pepper and set aside. In a small saucepan, mix the vinegar, sugar, oil, mustard, tarragon and cilantro and cook over medium heat until sugar dissolves. Remove from heat, pour over bean mixture and stir until all ingredients are coated. Let marinate for a few hours in the refrigerator and stir occasionally.

Conner’s been going through a rough spot now and for moms of toddlers, please tell me they get over themselves? I swear I feel like I’m dealing with a teenager. One minute he wants to kiss all over me and can’t get enough of me and literally the next minute he is disgusted at my presence, utterly annoyed that I am breathing the same air as him. Emotions are certainly running high around here as I want to just enjoy these final days of it being just the two of us but it’s hard. I know it’s growing pains and I need to be patient but I thought we were over a lot of this last summer. Parenting is hard!

One huge bummer with me trying to get all the nitty-gritties done before the baby is I’ve had zero time to craft. I did make some burp cloths for Max, but that’s the extent of my crafting. I was hoping to go out with a bang, since I knew that would be the first thing to take the back-burner once he arrived but that is not the case. Ah well, I suppose I’ll survive. I leave you with some pictures that my good friend Amy Martin took of us about a month ago. I count myself so lucky to be surrounded by such talent and appreciate her taking the time. Thanks so much Amy - we love them!

Just the three of us (for now)

Conner, you look like you’re up to something

He’s such a ladykiller

I could eat that face right off

Me and the babydaddy

Tim quoting 30 Rock to me - does it every time

This past Friday Tim and Conner met up with Conner’s B.F.F. and his daddy at a nearby campground for some male-bonding (translated: free night for mommy!!). I was mildly jealous that I wouldn’t be able to go since it was boys only, and hello, I’m not sleeping on the ground nine months pregnant. But that jealousy literally melted away as the temperature rose to 95 degrees and only went down to the 70’s that night. Me no likey the heat. But Conner and Tim didn’t seem to mind and had a blast anyways.

Look at those cute little sweaty heads

I love this one

This cracked me up - what daddy’s really teach their sons: Fire is fun! Amanda, did he tell you about this?

I was hoping to show more pictures (like the ones the fabulous Amy Martin took for us, and then some of the nursery) but my picture software is acting up so you must wait. The rest of the week I shall busy myself with lovely last-minute tasks like packing my hospital bag and cleaning the house from top to bottom. Wish me fun times!

Sunday night my amazing girlfriends surprised me with a baby shower and loved on me with gifts and quality time together. This pregnancy has gone by so quickly and I often find myself having a hard time getting in the mindset that this is really happening. But opening all the gifts, seeing the itty-bitty clothes and reading the encouraging cards sent me home excited and really kicked-started me in the direction of emotionally preparing for Max. And it also made me realize not only how much I am loved, but how much my children are loved as well and that touches my heart so deeply.

Not that I didn’t appreciate all the baby-love, but I have to share the hand-made gifts because as you know, that’s totally my thing. Amanda made the sweetest little pillow for Max to match his bedding, and I was secretly hoping she would make one since I saw one she made for another one of our friends and she didn’t disappoint.

Jen recently acquired a serger and has been sewing things like crazy and made some burp clothes and washrags. They’re super soft and even have a tag in case Max follows in his big brother’s footsteps of being extremely tactile and wanting to rub them.

Gaylyn made the cutest stamped onesies (I know I know, the tutorial is coming I promise - please don’t throw trash at me), and the favorite of the night was “Small Grahl” (for those of you who don’t know that is my last name, pronounced Grawl. It just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?). She also made an adorable little brag book for me to whip out and annoy endless people with when they ask how many children I have. It was such a great night and I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful, supportive and generous women. I love you guys!

Another jolt into the reality of Max’s impending birth: Our labor refresher course. Having Conner without meds was one of the BEST experiences of my life, I would never go back and change it, all of it was totally worth it (pinky swear), but this time around the thought makes me break into a cold sweat. I thought for sure after taking the refresher course that I would be psyched to do it again au natural, but that is not the case. I have no doubt that I can do it - obviously I can. Even at the worst time of labor I never once regretted not taking the epi, but this time around I just don’t know if I want to. It was exhausting. And long. And, yes, hurt like the dickens. When some of my girlfriends had their firsts (and second), they talked about how peaceful it was since they opted for the meds. Conner’s birth - not so peaceful. But any mom who has chosen to do it naturally can tell you how amazing it is once they are born. All those natural hormones rushing and your so into it because of everything you’ve just felt and gone through, and not to get all women’s lib, but it really is empowering. So I have no idea what I’m gonna do. Not really asking for advice on this one - I know I’ll make the right decision for me and Max (and Tim since he’s the one who will have to walk the five miles around the hospital during labor like I did the first time), just trying to sort through my thoughts and feelings about it.

Okay, lots more stuff going on but to keep you from being bored to tears I shall stop here. Here’s a picture of my baby as he wakes from his fourth night sleeping in his big boy bed (and it’s going so well - woot woot!). Ugh - it kills me how fast he is growing up.